Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Joke of the day



                                                                      Ay si! We like the jokes


One morning a Mexican mother and son are in the kitchen rolling tortillas.

The son grabs a handful of flour and splashes his face with it. "Look mom! I look like a white boy!"

The mother slaps the son across the face. "You go upstairs and tell your grandma what you just said!"

So the little son goes upstairs into his grandmother's room.

"Grandma, mom wanted me to come upstairs and tell you I threw flour on my face and said I looked like a white boy."

The grandma hits the boy square in the nose and says, "Now you go tell your dad  and see what he has to say."

He goes downstairs and sees his dad while covered in flour.

"Jeez dad. I've been slapped by both mom and grandma."

"Well", the dad says, "what did you learn from this experience?"

"That  I've only been a white boy for 2 minutes and I already hate fucking Mexicans."

Friday, May 6, 2011

Mama likes


Stole this from my girlfriend

I came across this fun recipe  this morning. I am in love! I made Papa a neon "rainbow" birthday cake last year.. this just takes the same idea and makes it a little more interesting. You dont have to use the bright rainbow cake inside, although it's appealing to show off  the vibrant colors. You can really take this idea and make it your own. I personally think the idea of cake in a jar is awesome enough in itself with or without the colors! I'm thinking....red velvet with cream cheese frosting or funfetti (my personal favorite) with some fluffy pink icing & sprinkles!!!

Photobucket

In my opinion, (being one who loves frosting) a pint sized mason jar is just too much cake and too little frosting. I am planning on making these in small 4 oz mason jars or even recycled baby food jars to resemble more of a cupcake. These would be perfect for any bridal/baby shower or party. I can not wait to try it out!

CLEAN THAT BONG MISTER



 

 

 

         TIPS  TO CLEAN A GLASS BOWL/PIPE/BONG



  • Smoking and cleaning don’t mix. Make sure you have a clear head when you start this dirty process because I’ve seen my fair share of pieces get cracked or break
  • If you decide to clean your pipe or bong in the sink take the time to clear the area. Resin is a tricky sucker and if you don’t clear the sink, you’ll have black spots all over your dishes. Trust me when I say it takes FOREVER to get this crap off.
  • Make sure you’ll have time to let it air dry, the bigger the piece the more dry time.
  • The dirtier the glassware the more time needed to soak. Months and even years of using your pieces can cause giant buildups that need extra time and care to get rid of.






Spilling a bong is never a great experience. Besides the fact it smells like old nasty butt juice, you will almost always have a stain.  If you listen to us, and we hope you do, follow our instructions and clean your bong on a regular basis. It won't stop you from knocking it over, but atleast it won't look like sludge pouring out.








MAIN INGRIEDENTS       


      Rock Salt/ Rice:                  
You take your pick as both do the trick. Your girlfriend might be pissed wondering where the salt and rice went so buy back-ups. You’ll need a lot.

Scolding hot water to soften resin:

Get your water very hot almost boiling.

Rubbing alcohol
The higher alcohol % the BETTER, although most people in the states can’t get a hold of 70%+ alcohol at their store. Just find the highest alcohol % you can in your area.

Optional: Lemon JuiceBecause its mostly acidic, the juice helps your bong smell fresh and clean after the whole process.

Monday, May 2, 2011

And on the 7th day the gods said, "let there be football..."

QUARTERBACKS


  1. Aaron Rodgers- Has officially entered elite status. No one deserves this spot more.
  2. Drew Brees- Don't quit your day job if you're looking here for a reason to draft Brees. He is money in the bank.
  3. Peyton Manning- Peyton threw more INT's in 10' but look for him to resurrect to his old self.
  4. Tom Brady- Flawless in 2010 as he won MVP honors.
  5. Michael Vick- One year wonder? Scoring 56 fantasy points last year in a single game helps to answer that question.
  6. Philip Rivers-  A passing machine, look for Rivers to become more balanced when the running game gets started.
  7. Tony Romo- Went out early last year with a broken collarbone. Look for him to bounce back with his aerial arsenal.
  8. Matt Schaub- Mr. Schaub will have a better 11' year as Arian Foster stole the show last year.
  9. Ben Roethlisberger- He takes huge hits but the guy can produce double digit fantasy points week in and out.
  10. Josh Freeman- Helped lead his team to a potential playoffs berth in 2010 after only two years in the league. He WILL get better.
  11. Matt Ryan- Shaky fantasy quarterback as Ryan is never very consistent but did very well at home last year. Isn't a top ten quarterback because the Falcon's running game is just too good.
  12. Joe Flacco- An up and coming quarterback, Flacco made a name for himself in 10'. Has an amazing receiving corp.
  13. Eli Manning- Having Hakeem Nicks to pass to will help anyone.
  14. Jay Cutler- Makes way too many mistakes and can't finish games. Forget about it.
  15. Sam Bradford- Looked great as a rookie winning "rookie of the year." Year two might be a different story.
  16. Matthew Stafford- If this guy could stop getting hurt he would be a  top 10 quarterback.
  17. Matt Cassel- Had a great 2010 season and 11' should get better with his improving offense.
  18. Mark Sanchez- Is surrounded by immense talent but can't seem to live up to the hype.
  19. Tim Tebow- Did ok but we need to see him do more than just run the ball.
  20. Carson Palmer- The machine is breaking down.


Running Backs



  1. Adrian Peterson- AP is a beast who puts up points. Give him two inches and he'll score.
  2. Chris Johnson- Didn't quite live up to his 2010 season hype but still had a terrific season. 1 round lock for sure
  3. Maurice Jones-Drew- Scored 1,600 years in only 14 games. Started out the 10' season slow but finished off strong.
  4. Michael Turner- TD machine inside the 20, Turner has the strength and durability to set records this year.
  5. Arian Foster- One hit wonder? With Ben Tate coming back, Foster's role might be dimenished or the least more balanced.
  6. Jamal Charles- Thomas Jones didn't affect Charles one bit last year and Charles will only be getting better.
  7. Ray Rice- Ray ray didn't start out strong but finished the season 10th in rushing. Plus McGahee might not be back in 11'.
  8. LeSean McCoy- McCoy is high on my sleeper alert. With Vick's leg speed and arm, defenses will be spreading out helping open holes for McCoy.
  9. Frank Gore- I will bet my life savings Gore gets hurt and can't go atleast a third of the season. Its typical Frank Gore fashion.
  10. Rashard Mendenhall- Carried the Steelers in the first half of the season only to see Ben get back in the groove and air it out. Look for a more pass offense with Ben starting the whole season next year.
  11. Darren McFadden- DMC finally lived up to the hype after last season running a muck on defenses. There was talk of Michael Bush taking over DMC's role but after 2010  that doesn't look likely.
  12. Jahvid Best- Started the season off on flames with his quick feet, only to get turf toe and dull out the rest of the season.
  13. Ahmad Bradshaw- It's going to be him or Brandon Jacobs. Flip a coin.
  14. LeGarrette Blound- Surprised everyone last year running well. If he doesn't punch one of his teammates he should do well.
  15. Matt Forte- Draft only if you're in a PPR league. Forte rarely gets goal-line carries but gets lots of screens and passes.
  16. Peyton Hillis- Break out star last year for the Browns, Hillis could be very iffy come September. Keep your eyes posted.
  17. Ryan Grant- Not a person fan because of injury but Grant can produce when he's not sitting on the bench hurt.
  18. Steven Jackson- 751 carries the past two years and only 10 touchdowns, Jackson might be hitting the wall sooner then we thought.  Sam Bradford might help spread the defense so keep your eyes peeled.
  19. Knowshon Moreno- Finally earned the every down back status and things look prosperous if he stays healthy.
  20. Jonathon Stewart- If DeAngelo Williams goes then you have 2 thumbs up to draft him sooner. Stewart did help at the end of last season after coming off injury.
  21. Felix Jones- Get lots of yards but not many touchdowns. With Jason Garrett under control, Jones might excel.
  22. Ryan Mathews- You can say it...Mathews was a bust last year. He did show promise in the last couple games and if he stays healthy he should become  the primary back.
  23. BenJarvus Green-Ellis- Eventhough he's on the Patriots, Green-Ellis scored 13 times and ran over 1,000 yards.
  24. Fred Jackson- Even with C.J Spiller Jackson is a man to be reckoned with. Snow, rain, tornados can't stop this guy.
  25. Chris Ivory- Fantasy stud in the playoffs last year until he injuried himself. Pay special attention because Ivory could break out.

Wide Receivers



  1. Andre Johnson- A man beast that cannot be contained. He should definitely be the first receiver taken. You saw what he did to Cortland Finnegan.
  2. Roddy White- Matt Ryan's go to guy and doesn't let him down. If  you're in a PPR league snatch this guy right up.
  3. Calvin Johnson- This guy is gifted. Doesn't matter if its Stafford, Stanton, Hill or my girlfriend throwing the bal, Megatron will be catching touchdowns.
  4. Greg Jennings- This is Aaron Rodger's go-to guy and with Donald Driver soon to be getting social security. Look for Jennings to get the rock even more.
  5. DeSean Jackson- Did you see what this guy did with Vick throwing the ball? Very constant receiver on a very good team.
  6. Mike Wallace- 2010 was Wallace's breakout season and there's not sign of him slowing down. When Rothelisberger came back after his suspension he was slinging passes right and left to this guy.
  7. Reggie Wayne- Very consistent and catches almost everything thrown to him. Remember this, the Colts LOVE to pass.
  8. Hakeem Nicks- Ohh lord this guy crushed defenses. Don't get fooled again, draft this guy before your dumbass friend does.
  9. Dwagyne Bowe- Still not completely sold on Bowe because of his consistency but he has tremendous talent.
  10. Larry Fitzgerld- This guy needs to leave Arizona asap. Ole Fitzy is a great star on a terrible team.
  11. Mike Williams- Did pretty well in 2010 but needs a better quarterback situation in 11'.
  12. Dez Bryant- DB had a great rookie season surpassing Roy Williams on the depth charts before injuring himself. Bryant will be a force to reckon with when Romo is back in the saddle.
  13. Kenny Britt- Came on big during parts of the season and slowly fizzled when it counted. The titans need to figure out the QB situation first.
  14. Brandon Lloyd- He's faster than a speeding bullet and catches everything in sight. This guy had a tremendous season in 10' and you shouldn't expect any less this year. With a coaching change, Brandon Lloyd should keep getting better and better.
  15. Miles Austin- Didn't impress us like he did in 09' but still had a great season and with Romo back should get back to those 09' numbers.
  16. Santanio Holmes- Holmes did a great job in the playoffs last year but had a lot of drops as well as being on a star-studded team.
  17. Jeremy Maclin- I'm jumping on the gravy train and ranking all Eagles very highly. With Vick in charge this teams looks like a well fined machine.
  18. Marques Colston- It like picking in the lottery. Brees likes to spread the ball so its up to Lady Lucky if Colston has the big day or not.
  19. Austin Collie- This guy is a stud if he can get away from the concussions and injuries.
  20. Santana Moss- Did a lot better in 2010 than he has in awhile, but still not enough for fantasy purposes.
  21. Brandon Marshall- Needs a WAY better quarterback. Look for him to rebound this year.
  22. Vincent Jackson- Is he or isn't he staying with the Chargers? This is the question you need to find out.
  23. Steve Johnson- Looked fantastic in the beginning of the season but slowed down after dropping the game winning TD against the Steelers.
  24. Terrell Owens- T.O. showed us he still has what it takes to play football at a high level. Look for him to slow down next season.
  25. Wes Welkers- Great utility player who gets lots of receptions.
  26. Johnny Knox- If Cutler can throw more passes to him, Knox should take off like Steve Smith did two years ago.
  27. Sidney Rice- If he leaves Minnesota I would rank him a lot higher.
  28. Percy Harvins- Life after Favre might be pretty sweet for Harvins if the Viking get a reliable QB and Sidney Rice goes some where else.
  29. Pierre Garcon- Inconsistancy is all I can say for this guy. I would take him as a 2 or 3 receiver.
  30. Mario Manningham/Steve Smith- Depending on how Steve Smith does with rehab, look for one of these two guys to take the # 2 position on the WR depth chart.

Tight Ends

 

 

  1. Antonio Gates- You can't stop this guy, only hope to contain him. Philip River's favorite receiver in crucial situations.
  2. Dallas Clark- Started off to a great season before getting hurt and out of the season. He is Peyton Manning's favorite receiver and usually gets plenty of goal-line looks.
  3. Jason Witten- Witten finished as the top TE, scoring 10 or more points in each of the last five NFL weeks. Steady as they come.
  4. Jermichael Finley- Stud, Stud, Stud. Someone draft this guy
  5. Vernon Davis- Catches and scores were down from the season before but  should remain a major weapon in Jim Harbaugh's new offense
  6. Owen Daniels- If given a clean bill of health, Daniels could be ranked higher as he remains the Texans number two receiving target.
  7. Zack Miller- Mr. Consistent on the Oakland offense. Miller catches everything and almost never gets hurt. With another year working with Jason Campbell, Zack Miller should excel even more.
  8. Chris Cooley- Cooley had only two double digit weeks last season and his three scores matched his 08-09 total combined. QB plan will obviously be main factor.
  9. Kellen Winslow- Slow to start the season, Winslow started clicking with Josh Freeman during second half of the schedule. Starting in Week 10, Winslow reached 10 or more points every other game.
  10. Brandon Pettigrew- This talented second-year player, who set a team-record with 722 receiving yards could easily crack the top-10 by fantasy draft time.
  11. Mercedes Lewis- The production finally caught up with the skill set as Lewis' 10 scored were three more than he produced in previous three seasons
  12. Dustin Keller- Amazing start to the season with 52 of his 94 total points in weeks 2-4 but disappeared fantasy-wise from there.
  13. Tony Gonzalez- Lack of a No. 2 WR keeps Gonzo this high but not a player to target, let someone else draft the name.
  14. Jermaine Gresham- Gresham produced a quality rookie campaign and with an expected overhaul at wide receiver, more of the passing game will be focused on him
  15. Brent Celek- Celek was  needed as a blocker more than fantasy owners would have liked. Potential in this offense remains high if he can get on track with Vick.